Decorum

You know what’s funny? They say that with age comes wisdom. Yes, but it seems that these days, the slightest tinge of maturity that is traced on you automatically equates to the pairing of a faded washed out and jaded personality. Now this is unfair.

Could it just be that people around you have not reached that stage or phase yet? That your ‘coming of age’ intimidates them, forcing them to form the idea of growing up and responsibilities in their heads. So they make fun of you to undermine this state of mind.

Or does maturity simply make you a boring person? The awareness that your actions bear consequences on yourself and the people around. You adhere to a decorum where a sense of righteousness constantly sticks at the corner of your mind, like a spiderweb in a dusty crevice of a ceiling. Whether or not you get entangled in the web, depends on how critical you are of your thoughts and actions.

Well, it’s not strange for someone to be too mature for their age. Life’s circumstances or experiences are factors that trigger maturity. For some, it is a catalyst. Thing is, ive learnt not to be too quick to judge anyone for this. It is a way of life. Inevitable. This change stems from experiences and you can’t dispute that.

I think ive reached this stage. Being the eldest son with two younger brothers, i have to fill those shoes. Its an uphill battle. I constantly go back and forth in my head, ‘am i doing the right thing?’. ‘But they’re gonna hate me for it’. But the more I delve into it, my fears become more and more apparent. I just don’t want my brothers to make the same mistakes I did. They’re still young.

Even as I type this, I realize how naggy I sound. All I know is that I don’t want to set a bad example for them. Just makes me miss all the times we had as children growing up. Not a care in the world.

Then again, you can still be fun and full of personality when you’re an adult. Maturity can’t be chased. It will come to you naturally. When it does, just embrace it and make full use of it. I think I just got lost somewhere in between. Now that ive put things into perspective, gotten the bigger picture, its time to rekindle the kid in me. After all ‘it’s not about fighting the old, but changing the new.’.

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