Sweet nothings/Humble beginnings

When I view photos and snaps on instagram, part of me feels little somehow. I see all my friends living the life and enjoying themselves to their heart’s content. But then I wonder, how much of it is really true. Cause if it is, boy I am seriously missing out.

Fancy shmancy green with envy. The nice clothes, shoes and whatever you can throw into the bag. I mean, this would make anyone happy right? And so I thought.

Damn media. It’s managed to influence my idea of the ideal lifestyle which constitutes of all these material things. Of course people will post all the good things they have going for them in their lives on Facebook, Instagram and other social media. How naive and superficial of me right? I’m glad I can put it behind me now. I’ve thrown that mindset out the window. Why? How?

Wealth and all things material doesn’t translate to happiness I realize. I’ve met some individuals who have everything I could ever want but they still feel empty.

When they start to confide in me, saying they do not have the closest relationships with their parents or siblings. “They’re all busy doing their own thing..” and alot more, my heart sinks every time.

I take a step back, and I’m so thankful and grateful that to this day this is not the case for my family. We have family dinners frequently, we sit and talk about everything under the sun. We fight among ourselves sometimes but that is that. We move on from it.

When you step back to be the observer, you will start to notice things you haven’t noticed before. For instance, I dined at KFC a few months ago and majority of the employees were suffering from down syndrome. It was a programme they were running apparently. It was definitely a first for me. I thought it was strange initially but the guy who served me at the cashier was extremely gracious and cheerful, I couldn’t help but smile. As I was eating, I observed several other customers who were seemingly surprised of the situation. None were too friendly, hardly cracked a smile. When I thought this particular lady was about to lose her patience, she surprised me when she finally grinned and started to engage in a conversation with the server. I found it extremely endearing. I realized that the employees suffering from their own conditions, don’t really have much going for them but they are still able to put that aside and be happy. Human interactions drives them to perform better. Something worth learning from.

Relationships are not a strong suit of mine. I don’t really have a lot of friends. Just some close ones, a handful I can trust. Honestly, I feel lonely everytime I see other friends of mine actively socializing with different cliques. I get insecure. Am I such a lousy friend that no one wants to stick with me? My heart cringes at the thought.

No 20 somethings should feel all these. It’s draining. They say retail therapy can help. It does. But only for a short while. Temporary. What’s the use of having so many friends when it’s not the quantity that matters but the quality. Also, what can I do with all the bling and nice clothes, shiny shoes, expensive watches? No amount of riches will cover up these blues completely.

Only till much recently, it dawned on me that the more u latch on to these things and objects, the heavier your heart will feel. The only answer is to empty yourself completely. Let go of whatever is weighing you down. What I have now; a happy family, a close group of friends that I trust, a bright future and God.

“Remove arrogance and self-importance. Step back and be nobody so that you can be apart of something much bigger.”

I’m thankful that my parents have always kept me grounded. Rarely giving in to my wants and desires. Only fulfilling my real ‘needs’. I’m really thrifty as a result. Other people are far less fortunate, they keep reminding me on this.

In essence, the most important lesson I’ve learnt is that you may come from nothing but that nothing can only turn into something eventually. Be humble, be kind and everything else will take its course. He is fair.

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