Stockholm syndrome

To still love something that makes you feel trapped. How ironic life is. I don’t know how to explain it. The line between love and loathe is pretty much blurred right now.

Circumstances have lead me to where I am now and circumstances are now ushering me to exit. I’m trying my best not to lose objectivity here. I’ve tried my best.

Making ends meet, really is tiring. Especially when you know that you’re not progressing. You’ve exhausted all resources and you’re not getting anywhere with what you’re doing.

Mind over matter? Well, that’s what brought me here. My parents were right. Now I’m letting my heart speak. 

I’d run, drop it all, make impossible seem easy. But I’ve had enough of lying to myself. I’m throwing in the towel, say what you want. So I can’t give anymore. Disappointed in myself more than anything. See, I can’t give enough.

Friends tell me to “do what you love”, “do what makes you happy”. So if it doesn’t make you happy, it’s best to move on right?  Search for something better. If not better, then at least something that makes me happy. I hope it’s in the horizon somewhere, not too far away.

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