All it takes is one person to trigger all the feelings I’ve felt or have yet to feel. Someone who can trigger feelings of joy, sadness, anger, confusion, warmth, kindness or hope in me; is it worth it?; you may ask. To be able to feel all these and more, I’d say, my days of feeling empty are long gone. Thus, I shall love with no regrets.

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To my youth

How painful it must have been, how high must my hopes have been, all the “what do I do?”s and all those sleepless nights – yet you still manage to pull through for me. Even though you’ve disappeared and I’ve changed, but still, maybe I can be a bright light in this world.

Eden

Life definitely isn’t a bed of roses. 25 years of getting by and I’m still struggling on some days. Nevertheless, I appreciate the process. The comfort that comes when I see myself growing slowly each day is enough for me to celebrate my little achievements. At this age, the little things make a world of a difference.

Thank god for family and great friends who encourage me to build a garden of Eden in my own heart.

I’ve always tried to keep fantasy separate from reality – to protect myself from disappointment or false notions of life and love.

However, I realise now that that was all foolish ‘bravery’. Who cares if your dreams don’t turn out the way you hoped? Move on, and dream again. They say life stops when you stop dreaming.

Well, I’ve been dreaming about my new favourite drama series lately, which made me find the purpose to dream big and chase moments, and not just people.

I didn’t think it was possible, but I was beginning to forget how my room back at home looked like. It just reminded me how fleeting memories can be. Thank god for captured moments in photographs or videos where we can keep looking back at them as and when we feel like it.

We may not fully remember how our dreams or memories look like, but we will always remember how it made us feel.

I’ve never fancied the idea of guys giving girls flowers. I mean how long would you have to keep watering it for?

But tonight I stopped judging and suddenly realised that to give flowers (at least for me); alive and colourful, that requires your loved one to tend to it with care means, that you equate the flowers’ beauty with the other person’s. And most importantly, it shows that you are in it for the long run – willing to give utmost care to the person whether rain or shine.

Time is flying by really quickly. Been busy with school, exploring places, meeting new people and making vlogs that I haven’t had proper time to sit and write about the small moments. Yes, to carpe diem/seize the day but an even greater yes – to pause, hold and savour my experiences and emotions combined, to make lasting memories. Time flies by but memories (should) stay.