Diphylleia Grayi

I’m quiet when it is December; probably the best month for self-reflection. As I attempt to step back from my own pride and selfishness, my surroundings become clearer. I can smell the rain before it falls. The vulnerable feeling however unsettling at first, dissipates once I feel the raindrops land on the tip of my nose— a cool comfort.

The petals of a Diphylleia Grayi (skeleton flower) turns transparent when it is wet. As they dry after the rain, they become white again. Perhaps its the seasons’ way of reminding me that, whether rain or shine, storms or rainbows, good or bad, I have to step back, resign to fate and weather it all.

Bookworm’s dream

A book without words is like a world without family or friends, and a life without time. Been sleeping real late the past few nights to maximise the weekend, and spend quality time with friends. In an effort to prolong activity time, time still flies by when you’re with certain people. They make you forget that life is short—

Like a good book which makes you forget your troubles and shortcomings, because you feel like you’re in a different world, a different person.

11:11

Some say the best things come in pairs. Socks, couples…

Would you prefer two like minded people or two people who are total opposites that can complement each other? When you like something so much, you’d buy two of the same things. Is that weird? Hmm maybe.

But not every thing can be paired with the same. The sun and moon go hand in hand. Different on its own, but they need one another to create the period of day and night; The sensations of a beginning and an end. Numbers can be repeated more than once but time never skips or stops. It just flows. Like my thoughts. And my consciousness. A stream.

Blaming others for your misfortunes will not change the present. Yes you may feel better. But everything else is beyond repair. Just look at the running stream. It’s only moving forward.

When I lay awake at night it’s often because I keep worrying about the future and yearning for things I thought would be good for me when in fact, everything has been planned, including my yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Fireflies

The fireflies appear, glistening in the dark night sky. I let you keep one in the cup of your palms. It became the promise of eternity for times when fate made us look the other way. When you’re finally ready, release the firefly so that it can reach the palms of someone else.

Its glow will remain. Enough for you to get through.

1000 hearts/hurts

I still go back to look at these vignettes of my life and phases, and go, “wow I can’t believe I did that”, “what was I thinking lol”. But, I’ve been happy with these small changes, detachments and attachments, beyond the space of social media. Because you understood and embraced my young and immature mind warmly, I appreciate you—

like how I see 1000 splendid suns in every sunset, wish I could keep 1000 moons in the palm of my hand and imagine 1000 stories as I look out the window on a rainy November night. Penultimate month of 2018, so let’s make it count even if it takes 1000 tries!

There all along

I see respite behind the cool mist that forms after the late afternoon downpour. I wish I could reach out to it. Like those precious ones who make me forget about my foggy insecurities so that I am truly able to enjoy my own company, above all. You’ve always been my source of respite, through the rain and hidden disdain.

I see you.